Just kidding of course.
It has been a loooong time. Jeez, and I never thought I would write again on my blog.
I had just been reading a bit of my own stuff, travelling through time if you want. I can’t believe how long ago my last entry was, and I can’t believe what has happened since the last one.
Life has been a sheer and utter rollercoaster for me and I am at a point where everything is up side down and down side up.
After having had that nasty surprise with being scammed after I had just come to Scotland, many bad things have happened.
My first team lead from that first company I worked for, let’s call her Helge, was mentally not ok and bullied the whole team of 13 people, and especially me, until she was told she had to leave. Helge was the one who had offered me the job here. It’s because of Helge that I had a job here to begin with. And Helge’s best friend is Babette – the one who scammed me with the flat (earlier post). What made it even more difficult for me was that Helge announced to everyone that I am her best friend. Which I never was, I barely knew her. As the whole team hated her they equally hated me until I was able to turn that around. Not a good start.
After that was solved and Helge finally quit, I had a good working life for nearly a year. I was given three big awards, I was on a really good way. I was in special projects involved, I thrived and worked hard on myself as well.
Then Jennifer came. I gave her my trust. And she took it and ripped my whole job along with my private life apart. That was nearly one year after the Helge-issue was solved.
Jennifer was able to cry on command. She always played the victim. None of the colleagues could stand her. Unfortunately, I was the one she had chosen as her target. What happened was that she bullied me that heavily, that I was given a warning. Yes. I!!! got the warning.
There was this woman, let’s call her Lisa, who couldn’t stand me from MY first day in that company. I never had anything to do with her, however, she hated me. She was a team leader to another team. Unfortunately, after 1 1/2 years me being there, that company got restructured and she became my new team lead. Finally her chance had come to get rid of me! And Jennifer helped her.
Jennifer spread so many lies about me (not only about me, but I was her main target), that Lisa only too willingly believed her. I had hell on earth. Proper hell on earth.
All my colleagues had been on my side. We had group meetings, lining out that Jennifer was the issue. The meetings involved HR. But nothing ever happened, it got only worse.
I searched for a new job.
I found one in the Whisky industry and was in heaven – for three months.
Then we got a new team lead. A woman who bullied the whole team. A woman with no skills and no leadership qualities.
One after the other of my FOREIGN colleagues quit because of her. Until only I was left. Since I had started in that company I had seen 10 colleagues leave. Then I stopped counting.
Finally that team lead was told she has to leave. After 5 months torturing us. That was in January this year.
So she left. And I thought „Now everything will be fine“ – but of course, it wasn’t.
What actually had happened was that my boss and two of the colleagues were the actual bullies, and I only found out later that they had bullied that team lead so massively that she bullied us, because she didn’t know how to deal with the pressure.
And so, after she was gone, it was my turn. They bullied me so harshly that I got anxiety and physical problems, like horrible headaches and heartburns everyday, shoulder and neck pain, fatigue and insomnia. You know, the whole programme. On top of that, I had to do the work of two ever since I had started in that company because of being chronically understaffed. Btw, some of the earlier mentioned colleagues have been there for only two to three months.
One of their bullying strategies was to pretend they didn’t understand me, whilst all the other people around me have barely any difficulties understanding me.
Then Covid-19 came, and this triggered even worse things. The company showed it’s true face.
On the day of the lockdown in the UK, we were made to work. 12 people in a 36sqm office. NO social distancing whatsoever. We were made to work without a good reason, as everything could have been done from home.
In my case it was even worse. They had given me a laptop but no charger (apparently the charger was gone for good). I had gotten myself a cable from the desk where that laptop came from but only at home I figured it was wrong. So, I phoned my boss, that I would come in before 7 am, get the docking station and leave straight away so that I would not meet anyone.
I was there 5 mins before 7. My boss was there as well. She made me stay. Until 4.15 pm!!! And I did not have ANY coffee or ANY food the whole day! As I am vegetarian there was no food for me available, as that company is basically full with carnivores! And she did not let me go! On top of that, I am in a risk group! She. simply. did. not. care.
Further into the lockdown they furloughed nearly all personnel in the production hall. But they commanded us, the office people, to have to work in the production hall. I had to get my psychotherapist and HR involved to get out of that.
Excuse me??? It’s LOCKDOWN and that company has had no proper safety measures in place whatsoever and obviously I knew the people with whom I was working together, and personal hygiene is for sure a foreign word for them!
They are coughing and sneezing and burping around, without any protection whatsoever. Hand washing was something unknown to them, or simply cleaning up the counter top after having prepared their lunch was the most difficult thing to do for them!
The toilets in this company have been absolutely disgusting, the whole building inside was laid out with a sticky, dirty, disgusting carpet which was in there since the 90’s! An ex colleague had told me that this company only leased that building and has never done anything with it since the 90’s, so you can imagine my horrors.
So, where was I … ah, yes, they made us do THINGS. A very lovely ex colleague of mine went into the production hall several times, and he came back with shocking footage and stories.
Oh, btw, everyone who had worked in the hall had to do additional overtime to catch up with what had been neglected in their absence! But we furlough people in first place … … …
Additionally to that the company’s expectation is that it is your obligation to have to do UNPAID overtime!
The contract stated you have to do it when necessary or when asked for. However, the company deemed it to be necessary at all times but never asked for and silently pressured you into doing it. (I think nearly all of you know that kind of manipulation.)
Before the lockdown, I had accumulated over 250 hours overtime in 10 months! And still they said „You’re not doing overtime, why aren’t you getting the work done!?“. We were chronically understaffed. I was doing the job of two anyways and was doing it pretty f*** good under the circumstances. I had happy customers, happy sales reps and happy colleagues from other departments. Also, my clocking time clearly showed I was doing overtime plus I skipped all the lunch breaks plus I never took any breaks.
You can imagine what a toxic place this was.
I was getting really sick – mentally and physically – and the pressure during lockdown didn’t help as well. Even less staff, even more work.
Until I broke. Until I quit.
And it was the best decision I have ever made in my whole life.
I am self employed now. I was planning on this since January, but never thought I would do it this year. I needed more money, more time … etc. pp.
However, I jumped and now I am into my own business for just over a months and it’s doing really well.
What hasn’t done me any good was seeing how the UK dealt with the Covid-19 crisis, resp. is dealing with it.
Although being in Scotland has been my dream for nearly a decade before I moved here, and although I wanted to grow old here, I have made up my mind that I will not be staying here for too long.
I have plans. I will get my business going. I will earn enough money to fulfil my dream of my own home on wheels. And then I am gone.
I will travel with it, happily working remotely as that is what I am doing now, and will be working from some really nice places with great people.
And with time, I will forget all the pain from the last three and a half years.
Stay safe and take care – the virus is still going strong, it’s not over yet.